For the last 11 years, I have held space for excuses (and lived with my bullshit for decades before).
One of the most powerful things the gym taught me is the need to show up consistently. Being at the gym showed me that showing up, even when you do not want to, when it is not convenient, fun, exciting, or comfortable, NEEDS to happen if any progress is going to be made.
At some point, anyone who does anything consistently figures out the secret is just showing up. It is just something you have to do, even when you do not want to because you know that when you are done, you will be better because of it.
Show up. That is the message today – but despite the last 150ish words, I am not talking about showing up at the gym. I want to talk about showing up in your life.
As usual - I am writing this one for me.
A few months ago, I said I would post a weekly blog post. I made it three weeks. And then I stopped showing up.
I had my reasons, and I suppose some were valid - but all those reasons boiled down to one cumulative truth and one shitty excuse: I was busy, and underneath that, I was scared.
We will start with the excuse: busyness. I know I said we are not going to talk about the gym, but we are going back there; it is my world and making a point around it will always feel aligned.
If I had a dollar for every time someone canceled a membership because they were busy, I would be announcing the opening of our third location in Bora Bora. If I had another dollar for every time someone told me they would start once they were not "so busy," I would be typing this from my private plane on the way to the gym built by busyness.
Here is the thing: almost all the time, busy is bullshit.
Busy is a lie we tell ourselves to make us feel better about how we are spending our time and placing our energy. We can justify a lot of weird shit when we convince ourselves of our busyness.
Busy is a badge of honor we wear proudly and loudly, announcing everything we have to do and always being sure to one-up the person we are speaking with. That is the weird thing with “busy” – we are all so occupied yet somehow busier than the person we are speaking with… I am getting off-topic – clearly, "busy" is something I abhor because I feel into its trap for years.
I believed in my busyness, and fought hard to keep it. We can justify absolutely anything if we try hard enough. Eventually, I became sick of that excuse. I hated feeling "busy" every day and carrying the weight that came along with it. More than that, I knew I needed to start doing things I was not doing because I believed so deeply in my lack of time, in my busyness...
Almost all the time, busy is a convenient excuse.
Too busy for the gym.
Too busy for meal prep.
Too busy to fold the laundry.
Too busy to meditate.
Too busy to take a walk.
Too busy to allow myself fun, true pleasure and lean into things that nourish my creative, feminine divine.
Too busy to make time for myself (aside from Netflix and scrolling, of course…)
Too busy to do the things that will feed my soul, and more value to my life, deepen my connection with myself and improve my mental and physical health.
Why is it that all of the above things are the first things to go when we believe in our busyness? When in reality those are the things we need the most during times of stress and added responsibilities?
Too busy to do the things you know you want to be doing – bigger than that – realize you NEED to be doing… but as long as you can keep the excuse of busy, you do not have to acknowledge the other reason you are not moving forward: fear.
It is funny. Typing this, I am already scared to post this later today. Remember when I said I was talking to myself? I mean it, I am always talking to myself.
Re-reading what I just wrote, I see the harshness in it; my fear is someone will take those words at face value and think I am such a judge-y bitch. I assure you; I am not; I am a bitch with so much bullshit who is saying what SHE needs to hear at any moment.
You need to know if you are going to read anything here or listen to my podcast, anything I am saying to you, I am also speaking to me. I am never judging. I am holding space.
My gift is seeing potential in everyone I have the honor of working with. Some people see auras, some see spirit guides, and some see our past and future. I don't see any of that – I see what will be if you allowed yourself to step into your highest self and live in your highest timeline.
Women walk away from meeting with me feeling inspired not because of some magic secret I share, but because I can show them that what they want is already there. That everything they are hoping to be – they already are – they only have to step into that version of themselves. I fucking love it, but it can be frustrating when whoever I am working with is staying committed to seeing their past self and fighting for their bullshit – but even there, I get it – because I did that for years too.
It can be incredibly hard to believe in your ability to succeed when you feel like all you have done in the past is spin your wheels. The magic is realizing what happened in the past is not who you are. It is only what you did. You have the ability to do differently, to do better, and as soon as you start - you are. That is a scary shift to walk into, but I promise, you will surprise and amaze yourself every time you consciously decide to upgrade.
(Tangent #2 and we are just at 1000 words…. Another thing you should know if you are going to be here – we will go off subject every time but stick with me. I promise I will always bring it back…)
Fear. I am scared to publish this because I don't want anyone – ever – to think I am judging them. I am not. My house is made of glass, I will never throw stones because I refuse to carry the weight of their karma.
I am cheerleading for you loudly. Begging you to understand that whatever you want to do: you have the time for and, more than that, you are capable of doing.
But chances are, like me, you are letting fear fuck you up.
I stopped writing here because I was busy (bullshit), a little lazy (because hard work can suck, and we all want to be comfortable), but mostly because I was (I am) scared.
Scared of being judged, misunderstood, made fun off… mostly of being seen. But I need to get over that. I have a book coming out in a week – my words will live in a form that I cannot unpublish, take back, remove or change. Fear be damned – I have to do this.
(Tangent #3 🙃)
Why are you not showing up? There may be a lot of reasons, but the largest is fear. It is always fear.
Fear of failing. Fear of not knowing what to do. Fear of looking silly. Fear of being judged. Fear of _____________ (insert your bullshit here).
The reason we never start or start and stop the minute life gets a little bit hard (a little busy) is that it allows us to move away from our fear and back into the comfort of our bullshit.
Whatever you want is on the other side of your fear. This is true for everything.
If you want a new job, new partner, no partner, new routine, a new habit, new side-Hussle, new Podcast/Blog/Instagram handle… if you want to go to the gym, start cleaning up your diet and STOP drinking and self-medicating your way through life…. Literally all changes, upgrades, shifts, goals, and elevations live on the other side of your fear.
This is why you have to show up when you do not want to because if you are going to make any meaningful change in your life, you have to be willing to show up consistently.
I will commit to it with you – showing up. I have a few goals (that I will not share publicly at this time – you have to protect your energy. I know speaking of your dreams is recommended by many gurus for accountability – but I disagree fully. Speaking of things before they are done allows you to feel accomplishment over something you have yet to do, making you less likely to finish. It will enable other people's energy to come into your dreams. Don't allow that because not everyone wants to see you win. The people closest to you can put negative energy into your dreams simply because your upgrading will shine a light on their stagnation if they are not in the same energetic place. Keep your goals safe and only tell the people you know will send more light and good energy to them). (Tangent #4 - I wasn't kidding...)
Keep your goals safe and keep them actionable by committing to showing up.
Show up when you do not want to because if you do that long enough, it will simply become what you want to do.
That is what I am calling in here: I will show up. I will show up weekly because it is on my heart. I know if a goal is there, it is there for a reason, and it is my responsivity to myself and God, who I believe placed it there for me to see through. There is a reason for it, I do not need to know what it is, but I need to honor it until I do.
The same is true for you. If you are still reading – you have something on your heart too. Honor it. No matter how silly, small, or unimportant you think it is.
If it is there, it is there for a reason. God placed it there for you.
Maybe the push to go to the gym is because your vessel (body) needs attention and love. Once your physical being is feeling better and healthier, you will be able to step into your magic.
Maybe the push you feel to clean up your diet is your higher-self asking you to listen to your body which will allow you to deepen your relationship with your intuition and inner knowing.
Maybe the push to start the blog, podcast, business, side hustle is there because you have a way of doing or saying something that is unique to you - and the world needs to hear how you say it.
It is there – there is a purpose. Honor that calling – and show up. I am in it with you; we can hold each other accountable and elevate together.
There is no magic secret to success, achieving goals or upgrading your life. It is just showing up consistently - and you are capable of that and more.
XOXO - HM