Like most, I am thinking about my new year’s goals. What am I committing to? How will that look in my life? What am I willing to do to make these things happen?
That last question is where things get sticky. It is the missing piece so many of us forget about. What am I willing to do to make it happen?
I could write an entire series of posts on that question as it relates to our health and wellness (and I will -stay tuned). But this isn’t that post.
This one is for me. But I know I am not the only person who needs it – so here we go.
Becoming who you are capable of being means shedding parts of who you are.
Things must change for something to change.
We know this to be true. But it doesn’t make those changes any less scary.
This year I am setting many goals for myself. I have a clear vision of what I want to do – it only took me 38 years to figure it out – and in the grand scheme of things I consider myself lucky to be having these realizations at this point of my life.
The only thing worse than not starting yesterday is not starting today…
My purpose in life is to help women feel amazing in their bodies. Because when we are comfortable in our homes, we can move mountains.
When we have complete trust in ourselves, we can take on anything. When we know that we are someone we can rely on, depend upon, and trust fully we end up with confidence we couldn’t have imagined in the past.
Our relationship with ourselves sets the tone for every single relationship we have.
Healing ourselves, acknowledging our bullshit, and shining a light on everything keeping us stuck below our potential is work. But holy fuck is that work worth it.
The past decade has brought me to this point, and I know with every fiber of my being that 2022 is the year all the dots I’ve made start to connect.
But I’m terrified, because stepping into this means putting myself out there in ways I have yet to do.
It isn’t imposter syndrome anymore, though. I know who I am. I know my strengths, and I know my abilities. I am a fucking amazing coach. My ability to see potential in others is a gift. My ability to sniff out bullshit is too, all though it doesn’t always feel like it…
There is no doubting of myself in the coaching space anymore. The fear I am feeling isn’t around my ability.
It is around being seen.
Which is ironic, because there is nothing more that I want than to be seen for exactly who I am.
The disconnect is in the story I am telling myself right now. The knowing that so many people in this space know a version of me that no longer exists.
As Joan Didion so beautifully said: I have already lost touch with a couple of the people I used to be.
Here’s the rub – I know logically no one gives a shit. We are all thinking mainly of ourselves.
I also know we are all damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
Because if we fail – people will talk. And, if we succeed – people will talk too.
Some say mediocrity attacks excellence, but I don’t buy that. I think people attack what they do not understand.
At some point, we have to realize that living our lives considering what other people are thinking of us is not living. And again, most people, at least the ones that matter, are not looking at you hoping to see you fail. They want to see you win – or in the least, they don’t care.
We are stuck in our internal dialogue, wondering what everyone else is thinking about us, forgetting that everyone else is doing the same.
At some point we have to make a choice. Do we continue to live for the proverbial THEY and their approval? Or do we live for ourselves? For the I AM.
Because both cannot be true. We cannot live with the goal of keeping everyone appeased and comfortable while simultaneously doing everything we can to live in alignment with our highest potential.
Living in that energy will draw attention, and attention will cause questions. That is ok though; curiosity is a fantastic thing. Living in your truth gives everyone permission to do the same.
Does that mean there won’t be any shit-talking at your expense? No one saying, “who does she think she is” … No. It doesn’t. People will people. The difference is finally understanding those questions are not yours to answer. Someone’s opinion of you is none of your business.
In the same way, we cannot ask people who have not been where we wish to go for directions; we cannot worry about the opinions of people we would not take advice from.
All that to say – let 2022 be your year to BE.
Be exactly who you are meant to be. Or – want to be. Because that is valid too. We have an opportunity to create ourselves every single day. We only have to decide what we wish to create.
I keep hearing that putting yourself out there becomes easier – I don’t know if that will ever be my truth, but I am beginning to feel ok with it.
Because fear feels a lot like excitement, and excitement is something I know how to work with. Excitement begets enthusiasm. Enthusiasm creates aligned actions, and that is a circle I am willing to dance in.
Sometimes, (ok all the time), what keeps us stuck is nothing more than the story we are telling ourselves. I am reminding myself often that I am the one writing the story. I can write it in a way that serves me.
I don’t need to be the person standing in my way, reminding myself of everything that could go wrong. I don’t need to waste time wondering “what will they think…”
I can choose to be my cheerleader. I can choose to remind myself that everything could go even better than I had planned.
Which is often the case when we dare to get out of our own way.
Cheers to removing self-imposed roadblocks in 22.